it's been so long that i did not update my blog already..
i don't why got the feeling to write my feeling at here..maybe it only the place that i can release my mood.
i also don't how to describe my current mood now. it make me feel myself not longer me sometimes.
those feeling only on those few day getting strong and strong only..since that moment i started, i know i will facing this problem but it's really hard for me. i don't what to do right now.
It's been more than 2 years i didn't ever dare to touch this line, but now i did it and i don't how to cut it down before it can make me crazy for it.
this kind of thing had already slowly poisoning me more deeply. isn't i not really mean it out ?
i thought i got chance but my feeling that telling me is not. maybe i didn't get the answer yet.
i wanted to know the answer badly so i can early choose to leave or continue for it.
by writing i can't write it so detail and i tried to write this thing not so clearly.
i quite happy when i saw the message, but most of it i had been waited for so long for it just for a reply.
even now i write it out part of my feeling i still not feel better for it. but as least it release part of it.
but soon i think i will get my answer and decide what i have to. in my heart already got answer but i try to give more time for myself to prove is it the answer in my heart same with the answer for that.
i do really hope the answer not same. i really hope there is a chance for me. but still have to face the fact when it comes.
i think enough for now. think will be update soon for that.
lucky my post no people will see. because it been dead blog for quite long already.
